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1.局花
& g6 l6 z6 ]' [7 g- N8 b局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，, ?5 F9 P6 i0 ~" w# J9 m$ s. w
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
1 q( o( I+ ~7 u" W6 e8 E# v小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。9 f8 b, t: o* ]4 Z6 s2 @+ V- [
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
3 ]! U% ?. b& m2 ?4 f' e: _
# p" m7 _" ~9 a2.媳妇
( z7 ? X; V, u10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。/ l5 K$ B. W6 |/ p0 o# [
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
& G d1 }/ {7 p& G% I# Q谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
7 F- A# S" q) a9 |评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
( o1 c2 A2 t/ k+ j- ^
) W) L- j H! M& X: r3.倒贴
( }( Y+ N) v# W- A* c C过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
" y) s s, ]2 v1 K于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
1 J d4 ]( o2 K7 o3 Y g) i老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”$ \, m. L7 t( N
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”- }7 u% h& N3 Y2 C( k
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，$ M6 ]9 Y) P4 T! n1 \6 ^# j
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”* S. J& Y3 R1 m# @
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
( r( n$ X: p" E( T/ P8 ~' h/ r" v1 }& @* h
4.刺激
4 O; z) `1 j+ X! O- {/ I7 [今天我走在街上，% T: [% u: D! q! F
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺7 D+ Y9 t8 ]% _& J- m! { t+ X! f
，我心想完了。3 l' `% y: O" _0 j0 i3 e
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
' W @8 ]6 l' I# i; l% i+ V- H4 W“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
5 s4 @' g9 m9 X6 N' X尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！8 k5 |( {' B* F$ W! t
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激! A' i" q. |* `. f, q
% t, `) i9 V: e1 l' I
5.不加倍
. c# ?7 A' Z' M) v小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，/ J5 t) q1 x6 D4 I. b" t+ K
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
+ K/ E% T6 V$ |$ E& h老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
+ z' |; E2 X+ a) f. z- q9 |小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
; j& S1 ^8 @6 M! L; t8 d( I小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
) Y8 H' D7 f# y2 H: e6 l评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 |* H" o9 a( p, Z( ?, W
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