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1.局花& h) t6 \5 k/ R9 ]1 i2 E
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
, P( F$ q% `0 ]6 X; p9 @心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，' ]8 Y! i' ]+ [+ r* `( m
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
6 _% }* r0 a! ^评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
# k& c2 D: ^3 Q- o) H
) ^' `$ g" {$ y7 B9 w- \+ t2.媳妇9 P0 Y2 M. e& ~* |
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
" M+ T9 c, f a, i5 A. {他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”( b/ ]. ^, S) _) m
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”2 v7 B9 t1 B: q) M! \
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺7 t p b/ Y9 e: m, R! R+ H
% z7 g! [: F0 `5 u3 J3.倒贴
- l3 ~: l* i7 {; b过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
; g- Y" q8 v7 F F) k! v( C* I于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。 k2 Y8 J* T# z' z1 t* n
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”5 X) E& r" e) Q3 {
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”4 X( `8 I3 y8 R! N
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，# ?/ Y& X: T2 R7 o
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”: m" J2 r( c8 }% V
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
+ A+ X, m+ c' @4 d
3 h9 ~2 i2 v2 f0 P6 j" j4.刺激
1 U; n% w0 J$ j0 J7 i& E今天我走在街上，3 J2 s2 X2 i; I" s. c" G7 |: o
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺- o% Z! |, E& @6 s0 V, I3 ~$ B
，我心想完了。
5 M/ r3 O# k$ x% K7 v过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
4 O2 ]# S' }' }$ Y, L“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。# r, n" ~2 v: t& q
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！0 h% F6 C% p$ \; s" ]* m
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
; j# E: e2 b1 F7 _" y9 q
" p) _5 `1 N" P( ]7 a5.不加倍
! I; {1 j: V# \" S: j9 _! T小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
( d, h5 x2 u: K$ ~+ `+ L% c今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。5 j4 \+ q( i) Q) K9 X& Q1 s. f
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”& F9 Y* i1 X' ~* u( L$ L Y) O
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”5 a. N2 Q; T9 o0 B* y" n1 b( ^' y
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”. a/ K% @' [, C8 W S2 R
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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