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1.局花
- _$ [; H& X" p局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，# w! }: U6 T6 Y# v9 L- Q+ Z0 T% J
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，2 {1 H3 j) e0 s; `& W; w
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
( M3 y7 I4 F" R0 y评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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! o7 }( u& `1 u: k( O2.媳妇% B; m$ o8 D4 F$ o
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。( O# E2 R Y T% w8 W
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
, \+ R7 K% c4 \* U: J! Q. H谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
. I- B7 P5 [, D. L# Z. L; A% Q6 F评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺( r, o; d. u" ]& @' w
5 ^6 \# O; W4 Q2 f# g0 G+ r3.倒贴
A7 L8 A1 E# f' _8 |4 S% w4 L% ?6 j过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。& j7 I0 u, Z/ U1 q0 U
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。" l6 I$ f* |+ Z6 U
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
& J) ~4 _$ Y( F( w; ~, B. M老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”+ C0 }: D0 K, C, S
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
: u; F$ s. T: }$ Z5 t8 ?“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
$ [. g+ \( @( ^5 N评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊( [2 F" I- D8 @+ M9 Z, z
3 r5 Q! u. ~1 @4 C5 R1 m t# S
4.刺激
& r! g4 k2 S9 J' z$ b/ n2 {今天我走在街上，" t+ n6 }4 F; x9 \; F
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺5 g, `/ w( I4 I8 I" j, V
，我心想完了。
# P" @# q4 F2 ^" R1 s过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。4 `& [3 p/ C) p. b# r
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。; ~ S( R( J+ c' ]/ H0 Z% x y
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
0 c1 S# G( a- T评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
' R0 d! m4 X L3 ^- R/ e2 l9 j; B4 E4 {( D. o1 @/ H
5.不加倍
1 f# n; @( N+ D9 J6 s& D9 W: n小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，5 q( ^2 ~6 K9 {; M2 l
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。( a4 q( m" h, R, i6 `
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”) {' Q8 w w) r$ V9 S# {. I
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
4 z/ G3 _6 w: p' i \/ v0 C小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
4 b5 \ c1 ?# a( }/ [7 C: n评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的/ h5 E5 b1 s7 z# E8 ^' P, y9 W0 R
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