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1.局花
A5 x6 `/ c0 C. n& c局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
% [6 L8 T; P2 r: o( T+ {心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，2 B/ l- I5 q/ L1 V/ Z6 `
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。9 \; a' j& [; w" [
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么& Y$ ~) Z9 I' `- C# l7 s
& v9 ~! q8 x% s2 j8 q# N9 v2.媳妇- n1 S/ Q0 g) \; ^5 w
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。' N: ~6 }6 H, x- u b( C& ]$ Z0 v
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
?2 ^# |" [# G9 d) I' p谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
% G a6 K3 E3 D评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺5 X) ?+ s+ ~2 `2 z
* x, C, d: u N0 R S& q0 e
3.倒贴
: S$ B q9 Y* q" e7 ^过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。2 o# @) p. n3 ]& @8 s8 L5 m# f
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
P$ n0 ?7 q4 B% p2 A4 M老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
9 U) k, g2 f' k老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
' j# T9 A# \( L+ {' b话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
+ v6 K8 O* D1 _7 `$ e“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”1 R7 N6 w' {/ ?( B ~/ N O: {1 m2 Y" r
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
6 t, G: S* ^( L8 ?. G! `. I* A; o) G! L. m w4 s A U
4.刺激
2 |+ _+ N5 z/ o6 e今天我走在街上，
. c2 ?0 o) Y( H) Z对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺 L- }) w: `5 h8 C% P
，我心想完了。
- \$ o, }) n" V; h; g过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。: U: y$ L3 A( B5 e# z4 }
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
. v) T% W' ?4 C6 L" \尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！) p6 l- j0 [2 L5 ^% p4 i
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
4 z! `. M& p+ Z) R
& k% F* s, S- X5.不加倍
+ g; A! c x# n) q( d1 Y小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，* J, t4 x4 _6 r9 g0 i$ I2 {8 m
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。: n7 d( `" }% s2 `# n6 b! Z+ L! t9 z
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
5 G' ~: J4 B- M/ q! d小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”6 H8 G5 S7 ?& u! w
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
! N& }3 c, x4 U2 D' |7 \6 E评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的' e' Z1 _8 X" u5 R4 J. g# `3 A; _
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