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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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9 @3 f0 l) ]! }% X: i9 O: P2 j$ M7 B4 w" V# K
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
; j% j( Y. e% H' \8 v我先来！
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5 {5 T" ^+ W' c1 ^9 K4 J% ]% N5 D; | t3 U
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”0 z- P: R1 |. O' F4 @
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”4 f" `8 |: l c1 ~! ]
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- ?9 Y) G9 O: A& u深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"( H$ T9 B9 c4 T! F
1 E5 L4 B, b9 b+ `
4 U4 D( y/ ` P7 z( h; g& S+ a9 {一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，; C' m8 n- V& S* |( Y5 ]8 l
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
# Z$ N0 w$ f, @弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
8 s8 L6 @- R+ P" [2 V所以非常受欢迎。$ Q/ }. U4 \4 h0 Z1 f
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
# T" ^) o0 C! z4 g6 {问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
( i! U. E" G4 u" C6 W0 V* ]' J O1 }大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
: }6 B! t/ v o, C Q回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
1 P) C' r& _6 T( j有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！: S) E; c8 ~8 @" g: [3 U8 |8 ]0 D
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”5 i+ ^! T/ @: {4 o- x9 O% J
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
1 Y' J' v" H' ~生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。1 }- C* d' p3 H+ ]
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。8 b5 O# a9 S# q4 W
小明：不行
& E/ u8 L4 n+ L老师：為什麼？# s: _5 K2 f3 b9 F
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分8 P9 x M3 W4 D7 b0 q8 ~( V4 s
小明：我是照你的话做的3 E- F! X Y/ ^% t* x) \
妈妈：我说了什麼？
; a9 J) u) q" s7 \% N. Z小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，; T* i. I+ h" O
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
( v0 ^6 P2 Y( h就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
& ?" x- _1 e; m1 F P小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？/ b+ _: Q, S1 }% m
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？" w7 L! G3 c5 F( N" E
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！3 [7 m' D- v, O) j
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。9 U8 x- @. z# E; r. L
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