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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐 W3 M/ \1 G' A9 [) v' |9 ?9 c/ S; R
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
1 |! }( G- x" I0 y+ S我先来！
% k6 @1 L; m. @6 `7 R) |6 l: ?8 B- ~3 o; d
' O* {- [% h9 d( z, BA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
. U- Y) d' p' O, T J) }同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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/ [5 D: z9 v) _一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
1 c, T. f7 i8 x# K, h每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”8 `& k1 k: D# m* A# L, |
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，2 \9 i/ ~2 M( g) C% t6 x2 p: p
所以非常受欢迎。
. R+ @1 h5 Q+ c! n8 V第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，+ }1 d3 w: ^) l, n8 K6 p
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”9 \$ a* k- h5 C
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，2 |( [- x! \% ^$ A5 G/ ]4 x
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：. W8 b7 t* p" |% }
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
4 F% E: F- w' n: y z- i2 R! A不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”% ^$ N% g6 P# l6 [8 f! ?( K
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪% i8 C* a+ I! c
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。1 s2 q: S7 d% G
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
' e* m8 ?6 O7 n2 D+ z) N! i小明：不行6 j9 X0 B9 T2 s1 M! S
老师：為什麼？, u6 s% v( Z# l. t
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
2 P& U7 c3 D9 r+ p, w7 v6 ]7 J2 n小明：我是照你的话做的* J7 R. C; d% Z& ~% Z+ }
妈妈：我说了什麼？; v- J+ ?2 n- z& A+ P. b
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
9 B g, S$ x$ h' O% {6 S( X Z" K她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
$ H9 G; Q1 y7 s4 M7 F就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
7 I$ s8 V% \, f1 t" F" p- Z小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？( v& I3 y' i5 b7 z4 T) B8 I' d
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
9 T3 c7 T# H# }: [, u5 E. j) _; \小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！; ^: p" {1 J: _5 |, S7 K5 G
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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