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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
* i, d: V, D* I7 J我先来！
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% M3 i, v y3 W5 A+ Q4 T9 |A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”# W) Y# q- {0 g# v/ @6 ` r
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”) V) A( v U( i: |; j& L# Q+ h
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# q5 j$ G) d* Z深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…") z/ w$ D1 _' \0 P& M+ O& b
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，, W6 W1 F) I: \' k; ~: P
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
7 O0 {0 e% A3 W: P, B弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，# L- q9 p7 Z6 C$ a! J- c8 T. X
所以非常受欢迎。& ]( {5 H0 z G; @+ K
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
: Z) j( E+ |4 v) k7 w2 k' f问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”" g+ L0 C( ^/ u9 v) f7 D7 l. Q4 K, K
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
) U" I* H4 J7 S+ Q( h6 l回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
& Y( x( D' Q) R3 T* o有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
( n1 p( q" _" h/ V, t不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
( N& b% {1 j5 [ F她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
+ W# Q- v7 J/ H; R1 l- \生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。1 I0 u) ^1 a& @7 s' z M
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。* C0 Z1 F. c& J7 B
小明：不行8 i) _( Z; K2 t% S+ L& _5 ?) J
老师：為什麼？8 ]% p: m) q- X+ j5 K
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
8 V- ?1 A3 P2 Z+ I小明：我是照你的话做的
3 P9 J9 P! o* l6 {# @% c妈妈：我说了什麼？ D0 v0 ?0 r* V
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，0 Z8 A% L( l6 e) s0 u
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，5 W2 l! a) L2 c' p- K
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
& o P5 `: Q$ i" q* m小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
' \7 y7 b+ L7 w. Y. T9 P" h6 ]5 r. T妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？: G6 L4 E$ T1 }9 ]8 N
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！0 g; l$ w& l& v; H3 N! S4 @7 I# K% O
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 6 d+ k; E/ a& f9 N* ^
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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