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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
" }1 t2 p, ?; a( ]& O9 b, ]5 N) ^* F! J5 {* U& s
! ]& D' D t& Q9 I今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
, x: ?7 D- c' H. [& U n: k7 W( P& ]我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
8 Q. z8 ^0 T1 p$ \2 D9 k同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”9 c4 c5 r0 A$ U0 Z( l
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) v' [1 ]4 e* x4 a! a深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，$ c; m( ^, G7 w' |7 M& v2 K
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”1 k* H) A: o) H/ s
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，& q6 C$ N. V/ @% U( T
所以非常受欢迎。. h* u( z( Z- O" ?3 Q" e
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，5 b5 L5 _8 Y) a
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”8 m2 H) z3 j6 I
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
9 }$ [0 _5 R3 a1 \8 B回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
% T* q' v& o. {- A有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！# x1 u8 r8 V! K! x
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”6 E! [: [8 L5 p9 u% O
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
& f2 n- W2 V2 u1 y: a: ^( q- s0 \6 `生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。1 A: R" B5 L# k
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。$ B: C) ]# \5 ?& ?
小明：不行
: R! f" i4 N3 F) F8 k K/ Z) h老师：為什麼？. D6 c4 C9 J# i7 m$ h
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分+ @9 [/ G5 \% r/ r( E7 l: t
小明：我是照你的话做的
3 q: T- g2 X- W妈妈：我说了什麼？
6 a+ ~# S' s! k3 S5 q4 p% M0 R2 U小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
$ @+ p r# \" e+ i( K. V她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
3 v+ Y9 f \5 v4 i9 ^5 j就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
, G! N9 O6 C) F& j小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？% q& a* Y8 M/ ^9 Z! \; \% F
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
, p& q6 d" m5 x1 e2 ^: _8 r小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！, `4 u! K" w2 ^
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 8 ^4 Z) s) ~. c' a
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。+ t" _! s ]( E5 ^% X* }$ N
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