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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
4 H. d$ i% k0 ~! G
7 u, ]7 F& _! ^) I6 ^0 `. g: y }3 S8 h2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
9 k& l( u. k3 D' N# Y& g/ \, o, r) M2 B& ]4 t
男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。8 }3 n: G/ a$ ?' K% x. Q8 J, C6 a! k
" W$ P/ ~9 k: @& K& s5 ?% P7 w: X! L老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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, @5 h! |. m3 b! R笑死我了。。。
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4 P# p5 C: S7 w$ Y. ~& b6 q4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,& ]# l' [4 E8 u2 Q! V9 x6 [
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,8 I% _. n' s5 M: M. }
5 R* v. K& o* I$ d- y我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!) r& l3 S9 o- W! h- i
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!* U U$ W# ]. v( D8 r
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”1 Z- w ], q A2 X ]& ~0 ]- k
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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) c8 T5 z6 N9 x* ^8 e; T5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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! d8 g+ d, B% r我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。) [2 n5 K& a' z* q9 [
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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我,无业闲人一个。( i/ j$ S8 Y- f8 ^- h. @
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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1 S$ T: l2 Q7 c女:滚她妈犊子,滚…) `' O" g% O' M
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当前离线
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