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当前离线
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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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' d& [# F2 n: W4 Z7 M! K男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”+ t$ B- P0 S$ T: |
6 O" U L6 ~, Q2 D0 Q" j3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。; U F4 l; r5 c) N- V3 ]
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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' ~% h- V c/ \# [- u笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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) L/ x1 j/ r' z可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!* s. V0 {7 t) t) v) ^ R; V
3 O6 x# i2 y/ _2 x4 x9 ?% K7 c b4 o她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,% H2 c% R7 L" W
+ W$ i1 t+ o! P4 W9 _就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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& ]2 C. b( y5 p; A' R孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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& |2 f% [) l- O m5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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+ b2 G! E n5 W- L7 [7 ?+ V; d我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!. L& H" o) K+ k3 s% S! `. _
! _4 z' }, p$ L" c% r4 I3 ?5 Q一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
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8 v. [7 y9 o3 m7 A2 f0 i+ N. O8 d当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?. m4 |2 N- W0 t$ \* ` }
8 t* P7 O" E- z, \! ?我,无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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( N5 P! p& ^- [% v女:滚她妈犊子,滚…2 L. n$ d* H% y+ I2 K3 x9 }
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当前离线
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