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1.局花
8 A) j, {9 [. c6 J/ T局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
' _. F' ], }, j- q* Y心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，0 W" t9 p, |7 h2 T5 Q1 ?
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
" `# E: C) n! c; b; k6 a! H& W9 A评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
$ w9 Z" {' m/ V! s, c0 T, j' a& G0 b% n; J# i
2.媳妇 h! r: ]) [3 w# T+ o7 j$ Y
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。$ G A) P1 e! k* d
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”. t4 m( n4 D' \( F
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”7 x" H/ W0 e" m3 L2 l F( H
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
4 Z, i+ a$ V' ^, O' j# _4 x6 O$ b! d
3.倒贴
; D1 C& J+ o; t: o# x过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
' D; \% I' X- f于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
( f9 X$ r: T8 A' N) y1 j) X老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
& E4 A* {2 R" T& g5 G0 N老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”! ^( T! h% C" ~
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，* n" t# V! L" W1 q+ b/ c$ T8 J
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”! @9 B4 y: w/ `* I6 }
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊; p9 c7 ?" n( A: a: a6 v
2 k: M( u' e% |( l9 w/ e% K4.刺激
1 y2 i6 r; T! @# W9 X4 i2 R今天我走在街上，/ C9 G: [7 q3 x" Y9 e
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
/ L- C5 }* y4 R，我心想完了。+ x$ ~% _3 V( _" C- H( K- _( @! Y
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
0 u4 c! c( k' i9 ~. F4 F! _“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
$ o% Y( Z5 J4 F: _6 V4 M* Y1 e$ m, j尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
, v/ T4 V: x0 \* X评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
& M4 E3 W7 e- S8 u. o1 k4 \/ _' p
5.不加倍
" l0 H5 n( B' z& a, j9 j小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
3 z0 g% `8 t" s4 ^今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。+ |4 |; G" R) j- L6 q4 `7 r2 Z- Y
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
: l! T) A" s" ?: `3 k小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”. j) p# V. w* O0 g$ F j+ F# n/ T
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”) S7 ~+ W$ W- F/ o- c% @
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的 `; \, S+ n/ ?$ h3 c' g
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