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1.局花- B' k* w$ {% O8 e' } }" `
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，" V, G a2 V0 r4 A& n; |
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
! q* \. F p) L7 A/ ~小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
6 A! u/ u* q2 ^/ }) T3 _评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么3 K" B4 }# x$ ?& z
& h7 u8 Y+ ^# y% Y
2.媳妇
4 z M) I8 Q! w+ Y( }( J10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
[0 u" V9 r, H他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
M) S4 N' a) q! n& c9 P谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
3 h4 q Z! o5 \' e1 K评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
* Q( g# n+ n a- P3 ~
! T3 l' j5 m: _3.倒贴
" u9 n& T& |" i; L5 `! M过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。9 e0 Q( Y. _8 k' `7 i' n. @
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。4 [4 S2 D5 B9 m4 Y) q( G* w
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”% Z% @! ]1 \; u8 g' U5 g
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
! t" ]; h' w) Q1 O5 {话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
9 J2 @" Q' z" j“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
1 _2 v' I- D' ^: ?' a& s: u评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
6 b% U1 h8 y2 U6 U9 q! P5 B+ ^' a% d1 e; f3 _( w8 `2 ^) \" X
4.刺激! \: `, D0 v4 w9 o+ ]9 r# x6 |! Q
今天我走在街上，
. X9 {$ d i) ^! y* A# g对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺 o1 D% l2 C6 f$ u3 s0 j
，我心想完了。
" S" s7 K0 O2 S$ p5 S9 f过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
2 U! T! `, }1 ?, L' R“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。3 n# ^3 z$ Q$ e1 U/ m
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！" X: e( L9 [% H! q+ Y
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激6 A: X/ s8 G% `+ I# s) h
+ D. x7 S, h0 u4 g. D X; p
5.不加倍8 S" J1 s) k" s7 X& t4 G; B" v1 l* x
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，' c6 F- Q0 Y# O# p2 y4 q/ `
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
9 y- i) S) s9 @7 }7 @. t老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
4 f* t. s9 K/ m- r* @) H, r7 x: {小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”' `& W# n1 c$ m
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
# |6 N$ K- D! n2 y( O W* M评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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