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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！0 s5 A$ K8 ?, K
我先来！4 P v9 w% M( w+ v% R6 s
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”6 d5 T2 f1 ? j! H1 Q" E
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”# r, R9 U6 Y9 w
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. L- ?, Z9 b+ }0 n$ n# P. j5 _深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"/ \* K3 q6 }4 u
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
7 ^6 C ~# K( F! X每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”8 U0 I5 Q- \, s: o( n; x
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
, ~) {( R1 }+ p0 v所以非常受欢迎。: D3 C% E" s8 O6 {
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，& o' g K- ^0 z
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
' u; O5 y' E& l大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，- v- m ?! d6 r% u6 ]
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：9 O) t. P, T" A {7 G) e) c
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
3 A: ^& {3 p- f* S, F) D5 q9 ^不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
$ O2 Y% q. M+ E她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
, }/ a5 V& Q- ~* O, `2 `生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
3 e- Z1 |1 r' ?- F: B* }- c于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。: ~: q0 N! n3 N0 j
小明：不行" L8 H( A" C( d7 f+ ?
老师：為什麼？4 i, m! Z9 I6 `
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
9 |3 L# q9 C# y5 T. x" U8 D小明：我是照你的话做的
0 D7 c2 t L& l+ R" E3 C5 [妈妈：我说了什麼？
% f- W1 ?9 } V) t小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，' W3 Y4 X7 N7 u8 N
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
( b5 _% p# P. W- } X就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”( f, i5 F1 C* ?+ R a4 M6 \, R
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
8 ]0 p, u9 i+ g' Z3 ]妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
7 h- L+ U( X$ I' X6 o; L小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
8 \9 \- x0 W2 H: }然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ - e& h- L" Q( K- n1 M# }
. b: Q# p2 j# b5 n+ t6 Y" d. v7 D" _4 V0 K/ T5 n7 X( f
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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