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1.局花# F/ S* M6 l f+ Z- ^& B, T% v4 s' g
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，. d& A, m, {+ Y0 z
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
) M5 d4 G1 T2 f% v/ g小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
" j6 Y& Q3 y3 y5 v. m3 `评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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2.媳妇$ P- z# x+ V4 d4 D. ] f
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。% V! j# T7 B1 z, _0 C
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”" h; x' q* ]* _# i
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”' v* M" P0 K3 c. L8 Q% v1 i
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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$ z* P; N5 H" S8 n3.倒贴
) b" x( I7 R/ ^3 `; I过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
& \3 A7 }+ }9 u% z6 t- m _于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
4 ^ g4 J" {- _/ r% J老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
' T- z1 d! N" F, N& @老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”! O, v' O3 E# x, e# L! m. V
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
, v' Z* _ G% G* s6 l' ^! [ c“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”6 z7 G9 k k/ z* ~+ `: P* X: p
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
3 x. g) _. N6 R& N
0 ]% }# t3 U$ P; D4 w4 h4.刺激0 J" R. U) Y2 {2 B# j: [
今天我走在街上，
2 f5 b O+ t4 _3 `9 {* c. r3 O对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺& X8 Z% r) y2 v6 D9 L( X+ ]. M
，我心想完了。
* Z+ r# Z9 e, H$ v- A8 z过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。( n# R- R- r; y) U
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。7 p, |$ ?: {0 R8 _5 B
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
0 o! ?8 x. j: u) L. |. X% a评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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5.不加倍
' a. ^, d/ t, m6 _$ q. P小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，8 M6 h$ @$ S9 r0 y" `4 E
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。* n; p& b8 T) O
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”4 C+ P0 k9 u9 x8 D. T% _/ X
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
! O! }1 ]+ P; Q9 U( y [ V! r小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”0 [, k/ H5 z5 |5 G1 j
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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