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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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当前离线
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带起节奏，送来欢乐% E: i* d o# Z% W" [
5 T6 g7 Y; y+ f0 Z% W2 h) N& }. h6 d3 m' u% U9 N7 y
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！! h' x6 F5 f' G
我先来！5 F8 [7 w; d! ^( ^1 D. I
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”4 f3 g) X$ A- J# P
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”! ? {2 a( n6 q5 _( l" d, Z% B
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* m4 f( w3 N! N+ u, _深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"' D! F! z+ {, Y, S5 P
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+ _1 x7 ?2 x, g! o9 m- X- s! Z/ U% G一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，! W l/ S0 P% n% |" y
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！” x- ^! f d5 z# Y" x$ J# S0 z- [
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，. P. F/ U# {3 _. ~ h# }* Y
所以非常受欢迎。' _% v& N) ^8 C
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
. x6 C: k; E) V4 S( j问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
3 D" w! E5 Q& u& t0 T大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，, R! q% q! }# X5 ^. g# E
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' x+ c/ B9 h" R( }" l有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
: k- c/ T& B/ c; M+ i不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
" x7 L( y8 m: o4 E, K; o, t她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
C; H6 ~9 E/ B: @7 n生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
- g5 r9 y- i+ w4 r1 Y; K. I0 ^% f于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
% h' A# P" e7 A8 G" Z小明：不行 [/ v+ a* v. i$ |
老师：為什麼？
7 E" @ L5 ?* K# g' j0 i: n小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
( y1 G+ @, {: \' O. v0 W) d小明：我是照你的话做的3 w4 @1 k8 |& X6 x
妈妈：我说了什麼？
/ v6 \9 g, P1 O6 r# \# Y小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分， D" Y3 `2 n3 s( a- C
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，. L3 ]3 |% O8 `* f
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”$ k# l* s" [ {% n/ l& R" b, M
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
- n+ l _5 X; }/ `5 B妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
0 E! G: c% Z. r. b/ F- R小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
( p/ R% ^! I5 y然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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0 h& ?5 ?% h, J$ F: |" x' C- V大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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