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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐' t' T/ O- |* V; A
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
, x2 L& J8 W, ^6 n; B( {' c我先来！$ {1 E" h% `4 P0 f
, x) E2 ^, K: C) f1 B! @" U$ q, g0 l+ v- [$ e1 G" o/ y, `
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”5 }0 \- \2 w; K, O9 R
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”2 c5 l( h K- Y9 c
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0 p) m2 |1 \2 I& E深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"! _6 F- l1 f& a. H. ^1 e0 v
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) G; Z ]) L# N3 k- S6 Z一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
/ s. O8 ^! S; h+ \8 F x2 y/ o- f每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”0 w2 O# E% w9 }% y
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
4 T- x# c/ q5 A* n3 ?+ E所以非常受欢迎。" X0 d/ l5 i, U7 m. y2 G$ S( s
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，$ {9 N. v' O. @5 \
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
8 G& ~; B4 M( x/ T) {6 _2 J大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，" M9 n+ C; g, `8 G- C0 D E
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
8 L- n3 ^# y* t" a/ q A! N r; P有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！% Z- P# d6 K7 |6 m- V% o
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”* U1 j/ e, P; L
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪+ p3 ?% y+ j S" f( \
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。: S+ D2 u' W" [7 D4 L0 C
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
+ Y1 A {' G( i+ f8 y小明：不行% w- x: ?4 ]" x( p/ F/ z2 D2 h
老师：為什麼？
. F9 `; w# ^( H7 N5 t% b小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分8 A1 Z+ l- |2 w/ I* {& x- l
小明：我是照你的话做的, ~4 ?; o; ?6 p& _. j
妈妈：我说了什麼？
' W" }+ V, G. R; D8 @* w小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
- y/ a9 K# t# |# Z# q她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
. ~% q; g* B( p) t# b/ f9 m就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”. ]1 a% h7 O" s8 W9 B& w) [9 g" \
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？9 d8 f* L% }0 ]3 u9 Q" Q
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？ I9 P* _- {( C2 J1 e- h' C
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
0 U3 G3 Y9 H# E! P( Z然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ / v, ? T+ Y& T9 u. [, s N/ r
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' H$ K* B+ U8 n' w大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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