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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
2 S1 {- s7 b5 ~* ~/ a* @( t7 L- p8 N% U4 h. r/ G
0 x" x2 v* F; d今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
8 c" E7 w* \! y; K我先来！
9 F/ V7 P. |6 a$ o2 F* `) o2 X& d1 [
" k* h: `, J. e# y4 b" p$ r( M
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”' j u0 a) I8 s6 {
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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! A7 _# B" ^3 j: N深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…", x2 r( L+ O. @3 p' r% O0 @
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0 |0 O" o/ T5 S; T! a0 @4 C一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，- y/ R0 c9 B( B
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”. U* q* t' a" M) X! r V
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，5 ]# E6 l# {* T) t. A1 Z5 s! o
所以非常受欢迎。- l% S7 I( d. R8 x
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来， B' v X* G: |3 x; E) y
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”6 Z; Q/ l& d) d% r$ \0 H
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，5 G! Y. o' k) G& \
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' |! U; s5 R* M% v7 i有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！( S7 m! f% d8 I2 k8 [: `0 @
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
, A0 V" i' ?. C3 W/ u她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
3 B8 r& s9 Y3 x Y' n$ j! h生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
" C& z$ V9 r1 g% Q/ P2 C1 m于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。8 [& l. H* L5 R8 h# |
小明：不行6 W( L8 m; F# O, R. y2 h
老师：為什麼？* A$ p8 V5 O% C* c! j
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分( ~7 ^; E, l7 p1 ^3 ^8 q, r+ y
小明：我是照你的话做的6 I! k( m, y# |# a! B: Z1 e
妈妈：我说了什麼？
) |# B4 K' l/ p0 Q' x小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，! y9 N: i m* Y8 F, b
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
1 c7 `" n1 P' l, `8 ~3 Q4 ^5 f就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”+ W4 j! P- D4 f. d- \
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
: G) F! ^9 f: a0 ]8 ]: t妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
: j% P0 D2 n5 q' \+ h小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
% h& |. z' S& D然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ A6 r j' n% D6 X7 J( E7 k! M- i
5 l- R6 P) t) Q1 M/ y7 m
! P8 ~1 Y6 J: X. ^7 }; L大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
/ D2 r9 u7 N& q3 M1 m5 }( o/ W, e$ @- S
5 s/ z$ M$ N8 ?. e+ k* t* m2 U4 b% r! v
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