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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐) }0 O- H4 X6 m( D
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E7 B' H# B0 f- n# ^ x4 D; ]9 c/ X今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
/ D' F. _0 F7 C' y* x# J/ n! J我先来！
5 Q$ b3 f1 u& K6 i. n, S$ l8 [6 Z8 U' T) `' D7 Z
% Y" f+ m) a; K O. ?8 z5 r# @; tA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。” b: y X, @# {- N0 U
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”8 ^, W, _7 }$ p. r1 Y' {! _
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. K9 m' S; T i深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"1 k( `/ x' N S: j( v/ C
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1 @# g" G* m- }! @: B一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
8 W7 m5 ?% _( D$ S+ u' u每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
! r2 `4 |0 A1 f6 {0 A弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，+ @0 _+ ~% s/ g8 }6 h
所以非常受欢迎。
" ^ J5 e& d$ P7 k第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，7 ~$ n9 k& C; e0 ]) C
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
) y/ ^" {* V# j4 h- e5 j5 f: p大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，& B! f6 U4 L! U p$ A, n/ {4 J
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
9 c" I7 l+ `& s& P有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！' d8 R/ q' v" S w
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
: N* O; W9 a! G+ B/ U+ ]. [她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
' N0 C8 r* ]9 [0 w生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。+ Z$ W1 n/ H& m; D& g' m
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。, L5 V/ D7 x4 H8 ~5 j4 ^
小明：不行) C, g4 M; R8 v7 U7 B
老师：為什麼？5 t$ z$ t" K( H, E& T _' Z
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分7 U8 Y# A, b- T9 n' k
小明：我是照你的话做的
* z1 z/ q9 S' u5 F2 |妈妈：我说了什麼？* H" j" w. n5 C/ q3 x2 T4 D
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
; D2 [- T/ l; \- r5 w她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，2 c4 x, @ l4 b4 p
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
: l3 _2 h7 S. W小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
: P6 G8 D# f- w" J/ L妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？3 q5 U7 p/ b1 ~ _% g/ n# w
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
; w0 R0 R$ R$ _然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ) O0 \7 Q5 B( Y0 [ \* A) q0 F
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! O$ `3 a9 z, m' ^, ?( H% P' o大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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