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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”% G9 f; [, m3 L( Y$ y, \/ f" Q1 w7 O
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”, [+ M6 z1 @" p1 t& J9 `- G" N2 c. ^
& ]5 Z* }4 b' m7 S$ M+ j# b男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”) c7 y5 Z% L9 I/ a4 U9 h+ e) G
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
! w% x+ F2 a- Y( _
# f( B3 X3 ~7 E! `! O7 q老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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1 y0 r1 y1 d6 l4 { t- K7 a7 t女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。6 \- O7 w, V% m# O) y5 C
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，+ Z# Z, P8 Y T- x
& |; Y$ v5 W @' f; o8 c: i可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，4 h; N# }) L4 A( T/ S/ Q
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!' f/ Q+ F' k- k6 g/ U/ j, I
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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& n$ A% _ @& `+ q* A8 c晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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$ Z+ h( ^" Q: ]5 R8 _, v恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，" z: @: S4 }6 |5 c5 i, T7 N
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，) a: C9 Y5 N( u1 b( h- X' z$ a
9 e8 P5 c3 B5 y+ }# q我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。, `" o! X2 l* Y- o6 H; O) [
+ }7 I1 P+ P8 Y0 [+ }6 ~当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。 T( B+ x# c3 S# ]! J
& O, Y- a; X6 Z& [* A+ d2 @女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？- \- h- d/ r- A4 @ I
9 S+ X3 q( z& g+ w; c我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。+ w( Z0 C9 a$ @' B0 M
) v' J! q) A! ^3 t# a( Q/ U女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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