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1.局花
# i- o8 _( r8 X m# [局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中， M- c6 o N+ G! v( Y' B+ d" x
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
) A/ M; \+ T2 I# w小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
3 z# A2 l4 d! ^; ^" C# p9 n: a评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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* B( a4 O% J4 _! B0 }( f2.媳妇
: v! y I. u1 |' e8 z6 j10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
3 D0 m! ~* {, v9 f1 {他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”0 G! N& M, r! b7 F
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”! ^$ s5 K+ _4 l& l7 w' |
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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1 \# ~1 w$ {+ P9 A5 x2 n/ {& o l" \3.倒贴8 q4 D7 Z9 \; Y( O" q
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。/ n( n, r& d: z
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
d; W3 M/ @) l0 F! {4 T老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
+ k8 V7 V3 |) s: N/ W/ m老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
- ] ~. c6 \* D# S话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，- @4 f3 f! z" c$ m
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”; _6 Q( y1 F- _0 ^
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
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4.刺激# I3 @. Q" M! B/ \) h
今天我走在街上，
$ k/ D$ s4 m( u8 Q/ g对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺% m3 o: I3 o* _
，我心想完了。6 p) W4 v9 {. K2 j& e) Z
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
# J6 i+ ]- |! g5 Y' _8 Y/ ?“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
4 L% @: w! S4 V) c; [* v: e! H尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！3 d7 s' D4 f/ f1 p( V! y
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激; B; F. P2 ?' x' m/ {
8 O. D. U N6 Z$ [8 t7 e2 u2 A& U
5.不加倍
$ H3 Y! R8 _, O5 m3 W) p$ J& X' y. O小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，% g. L2 _! \ L6 V& e1 }: A1 s
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
! c* W0 M' Z0 ?0 z# ]老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”3 ?5 F- G% o. _5 x
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
G) b- u* L, e: O. i6 Q [小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
5 I2 b6 d# w9 y/ o, L1 T2 a评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的3 F4 y7 O$ P4 H. G
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