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当前离线
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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”- {# z8 X9 o6 l) [9 L) h" {
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”! I( H6 L( J) K; |
' c0 ~; s l S/ Z3 U! q0 Z5 I3 p男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”6 ^4 x+ I! ?* W* D1 I0 ~! |
7 O/ i* I4 B* S, c$ m3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。; t; q$ B, l5 g( n% z6 i
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。- ^0 x' J8 l" N1 j) |# k
& R. B( M9 [1 l% T- D5 \3 [女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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7 j( P# A2 O; y! i% }笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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" e& J# a! P5 B9 x* G3 I2 U可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，' ?" X4 g3 z) [) o1 `
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!% m; K( F+ b y# U9 Q P7 v& R" I9 X
* K) r6 K; _! M晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”- j3 O- s3 K0 S
' I% k5 E" H, t3 ^: B恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，- d- q6 }1 i" R3 j
3 p" p0 i" `! ]8 R5 ^% k就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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6 k2 o. h4 T! P4 l' t; h/ K孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…# x( T q6 S* ]: ~2 D" j
$ R- O$ b3 i: F$ `# j' K5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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& \# q4 }9 j' b E4 `我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！" G ]3 I7 m" C2 h% n: g% \6 z
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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+ P" ?+ a# K( H8 h( {2 ~当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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8 C& i u2 I( F我，无业闲人一个。7 e3 [% a2 s" g) L' q9 `
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？ x& H8 Y0 y6 x5 ^$ o8 t
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。4 I$ y5 J! b: F. I; S
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…" X! D* @. E K4 M
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当前离线
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