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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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当前离线
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带起节奏，送来欢乐# n+ q$ \! `6 B# ?
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
3 ?+ Y( W9 A! y$ k& T我先来！0 D+ H2 ~3 Y6 L4 [
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”& [/ X! B/ T3 ?2 R) o$ T
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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& t9 Y2 d- f( E, x% a5 h9 z深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"' W% N4 }' K$ t5 u$ k
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
) _/ l: k2 o! w, h" J( N. `! ^每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
% z8 |' h! H$ \+ d" l+ i; X1 i5 x弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
! d: m7 y5 h- W3 H2 }所以非常受欢迎。
0 S% ~$ A# g* x- B第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
y% X# h3 y8 ?7 `3 }问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
9 z: z# N* P, O- @2 x' E" e大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
- X( s1 S" d$ R# z% r2 R回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：1 Q/ A; I1 o: d) `: K2 X! a
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！& n9 ~( ~) g+ `# U+ q5 w
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”% z2 G# m8 O6 q
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
" r, b4 M; U, Q. e生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。# V* X3 [% H+ M) m6 c
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
{6 n- u" O$ W; z. y6 d小明：不行
( Z+ K/ q5 e& e. ]/ J1 ~7 j$ a老师：為什麼？6 J( i$ ?9 E% f( q- `- ~! ?
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
# Y- T; ?( @# G& j小明：我是照你的话做的5 }6 c! ^9 E2 e. J. r& u
妈妈：我说了什麼？4 ~ Q. r- @, e5 [
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
- c7 r F3 l6 m' p- w9 ^她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
- h- X7 U( Y5 F! t$ c# ^就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
/ K; a7 g3 U+ x. R: X小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
( F+ a g3 _; d% e( U% y妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？5 S1 G1 U+ V4 \. b7 ^0 m
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
j, W" q; w+ h! T% {. N' r然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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" J5 Y3 v; X! V% `9 f( j+ R大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。$ ] D; u4 m/ i3 O6 }
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