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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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, E- }: w% G, V* n/ N$ R5 o1 f男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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& g+ K& H3 o4 C& D. n: u3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。' a7 M6 y. |4 t0 Y5 Y9 H
. W7 y- Z( B" y" t老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。) b' `2 q9 q/ u: T% x4 P" M
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。# h& ^2 }5 O6 Y) U
' v- ]; H) Z2 N5 B! _. C笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，6 |$ H/ w: i% `2 q! t k. m
) p, c5 r2 c( a W! ~我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!- r' F1 d6 N- Q/ g( I5 ]$ i! [
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!5 d) e. D3 ^1 g7 S. a, `
A3 Q+ H' \4 }; ^' f# g E' H晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”! B% R3 _; ^7 v- E# j6 T+ C
9 F/ p2 D3 }" V: x恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，# }! m" d8 [" ]7 P% n
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”# f6 a# O C7 B" |* w/ W4 i( z
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…* u. \; b2 z7 [7 T O8 E/ `
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！" `& B/ p; e( y
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？1 i5 ^! k0 n8 ]* [8 {! \$ `
% c: s- h4 n) d) j% n( i我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。: r4 g B* ~7 C9 L2 U
0 e# r* p! H3 x6 s0 O# w# Y女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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