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1.局花6 b' U0 z$ \6 h9 W" O% J. f2 O
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
+ \- `) K9 Q5 Y% @4 p心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 n! V) T( E1 x) X小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。2 v! f' I* N, \# t, A' S
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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/ O7 P8 X) k' K4 L2.媳妇
8 }3 C9 ~; F/ j10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
b9 }: z' V- V! a' |他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”3 U9 z9 ?& Q) K0 T
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”: B# }3 }& C, N
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
- g/ u+ [9 h* D/ q- M; Q5 K% g( H1 p) T9 L. v/ g
3.倒贴
$ T& ^+ A) A: C: s过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。) j$ d) O0 o/ {2 K% a$ G
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
9 ], ^& p+ x' W! K0 N老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”+ N. ]; G G& r& ?3 P% P/ E
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
4 o# g8 T$ e6 X话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
4 j7 S( S* c5 X: _3 J“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
8 J3 ]0 u+ J; X评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊' E( g9 i# b0 k, r- l
) h0 K* @1 J/ {+ Z% N4.刺激
- D6 ]2 g- J& B5 W4 x; g t今天我走在街上，5 c; Y' p' m3 g$ X
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
& p9 J4 B; m# `2 a! Q. F4 ?，我心想完了。' N( {. p6 Z! x% o6 ]
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。; P* r9 s9 b- ~4 W4 t' n) x3 v& W
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。( E/ l D8 z- y% O
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
$ J* w2 F. a% ]3 Z( n评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激) R' E: g1 C2 L) W7 V
" \8 u6 X3 F% T5.不加倍
; A7 a d. I5 m( |- y小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，. N" K `& O7 I) }: `' m( p1 h
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
: D( X1 ], }' N% S# e4 s+ S老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
; U# M# w# h( d小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
: a% d# S, X7 h小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”% q$ M6 s1 {( J) h
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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