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1.局花" J* z" ^) e7 r3 u( r! N8 u. O
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
+ @2 }9 ^: T5 l" Z5 S: ?; p心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，/ m6 k! h2 H+ V
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。9 U. o3 r A' C( }' x1 F
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
8 P3 @; [6 X- k; u% C% i3 F# z9 P; n4 l u4 Q. V* |+ ~0 ?
2.媳妇$ q% U& T3 K4 s2 R, F
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
3 a, \ l$ P a$ M' y# N他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
+ c) I$ M, q7 E( n# j( X谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
) ^# |# e, ~2 H; U. ?+ x评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
t }) Y5 y* u- Q0 ?5 L7 f* G7 Z* C7 V- W+ O* g
3.倒贴
" o4 [0 {! B6 b, J( o5 n6 H过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
( P! r+ G3 c. B5 O& ^于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
# j6 n* w& t; D/ f3 b* u老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
. t) F: f7 w( j9 y: I) Y+ n老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
6 e. b1 F: m8 q4 f- A0 Q话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，! [0 _; ~/ L" ?8 B. V E4 h! G
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”% k8 [* x( p3 x
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊0 w4 z: E9 R2 o$ J
$ q& O5 m# t' |! M7 V$ _4.刺激
8 t. ^# r( r; P2 _% J今天我走在街上，4 K( l6 D' B" [$ Z
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺$ R. z+ |% z9 B: |7 ]; X
，我心想完了。# H1 C! d3 s: q) }! c9 t7 K
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。& W& }" T. S; S0 z5 U i
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
/ J# D. k* h! y8 _8 n. C7 a% P尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
) o6 [. K9 S* x! ~% J评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
8 b( z; \: K U- D% ?% D* R6 A. z- i4 d0 h- Q
5.不加倍. k( {2 G' s3 M* W% k) W- G
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，0 O6 z. F9 J5 c) W. V
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。9 ?8 _- d4 j/ P% ^
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
- X! W# |! j( i4 E m4 R小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”; Q' P* b" A' d) b$ F, ~* K0 K
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
3 ~; B; \' E0 ]! U2 B评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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