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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐+ l7 m/ s5 [7 G4 L: e; A* ?# |
$ Y/ e% ~, v4 ~, H( Y, S
2 ~$ D! G# D3 y* D" U今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
3 P2 _; \# h& k: X9 `$ n- C3 {' ]我先来！
2 a$ Z3 d Y! C- [* b9 P5 P' N! Q3 M& |! ^/ n5 S1 h; ~
" W4 K/ p/ j2 `* F( SA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
E) P' x7 h. Z g& j* {7 D e: \( E& T同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”- [. y) x/ F( h0 S7 g; Y
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7 f# {1 U% k3 [6 O8 s1 s j; _1 V0 |深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"+ H* ^9 z) p2 \" y3 y9 o" x1 C
! E' q8 i6 m& X0 @
- {1 E' z+ k1 F3 h8 m! i一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，3 Y; P4 R: v6 a6 u+ `7 H
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”, `& K. J) E( v
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，" x0 A# ^/ \" u0 X2 Z
所以非常受欢迎。) b3 v& w- o1 t C# W
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
& o' k# b# ~/ |3 I1 i5 \& D问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
4 x) U7 H& y$ C/ T. ?大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼， E, O, ^# M( Y% u1 W
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：7 ~1 Z$ [. @% F% l
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
9 m `% ^+ I3 y6 `, M不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”$ G' k1 Q. X0 `0 v7 ]7 Y
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
! f9 L2 K4 ]0 F/ f* G! c生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
$ `5 M: |$ f0 s8 V于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
6 f( c0 ?9 j0 I小明：不行3 t6 ]3 l& n* {6 E" l4 g3 r
老师：為什麼？
+ b; [) l: H; [3 A" r* }1 r小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; ^6 ~; J2 D* d
小明：我是照你的话做的 v$ u1 }; m2 N3 c9 B
妈妈：我说了什麼？
6 H6 {1 ]+ q1 B8 [; a8 g, R小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，" D; P) G/ `+ K' h8 V5 _
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
8 W& }/ }3 t' G, _0 j5 c6 Q! y) P就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
4 g" C: M; G( E3 g; Q" J小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
( l( O. o3 f. Q) |( j( E; K妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？9 ^, e* J1 s7 O' a/ Q( x# H
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！0 C* o5 ^# F$ J: L' A3 r: t! E
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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7 @' Z6 T! \! `7 m6 }2 |; h% z) J. ~* ?5 d) c
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。3 L8 _: z1 N' G% |
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