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一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言： “通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的！”大家都一声不吭躺倒。——这叫观念转化，改变原有固定思维方式。 , V* d0 Y! }7 I* M3 n) l
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0 v2 {* k' O$ R# N, C! a. r劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上呈大字形的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些！这是劫财，又不是劫色！”——这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干！
% y2 k# g& o: m% P& }0 s1 d+ x9 b u0 K5 K4 K+ w" \
$ m% ~0 O5 g, N! g7 ]3 n, P+ m6 {( B+ J抢劫成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪（硕士学历）说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”. l8 b3 a9 w" T
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那老劫匪（小学学历）说：“你傻啊？这么多钱，你要数到什么时候啊？今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。” ——这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要! . e" |# m7 i1 i- K" r
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劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案！主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等！把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去！”——这叫危机预案，化不利为有利！ 6 s3 i" M$ K% v
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主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。—— 工作很枯燥，快乐最重要！
7 @" H" _9 M1 g( h; a7 I; b, a0 |第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，可劫匪数来数去只有两千万。
& T8 w6 q& q2 S: W老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊！”——知识可以转化金钱的明证！; [0 c; C5 l9 v+ g! ]
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8 Z+ }" a2 Z t' n( n3 L" \7 a银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊……”1 D1 M7 n( @" j+ J& R2 R+ C
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